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The Fraternal Order of Zabka

Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy

 

Part 1: The Karate Kid

Billy Zabka stars as "Johnny Lawrence"

Johnny Lawrence - Hero or Villain?

By Godfather Jason "Table Press" Johantges 

The writers and director of the 1984 movie “The Karate Kid” filmed the movie from the vantage point of Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio). The viewpoint of Daniel provided the implication or appearance that Johnny Lawrence (William “Billy” Zabka) was the true villain of the film who was always trying to bully and thwart Daniel’s ability to lead a normal life in a new town. This movie was made for teenagers and children so it would be easy for them to overlook the facts when determining which character was the hero and which was the villain of this film. To finally determine which character, Daniel or Johnny, were the true hero and villain of the film, the facts must be closely examined. The movie must not be watched from the supposed protagonist Daniel’s viewpoint, but it must be watched from a neutral perspective. The events of the film will be broken down chronologically and the facts examined for Johnny Lawrence to see who truly was the hero and who was the villain of this film.

We first meet young Johnny Lawrence as he and his friends are riding their motorcycles to the beach party before the new school year begins. They stop and observe everyone having a good time. In this scene Johnny does a few things that might surprise you. He turns down a beer offered to him by his friend Dutch. He even states that he wants to have a good senior year and work hard. Wouldn’t a bad person, or a villain perhaps, drink underage and not care about school? After observing Daniel’s clumsy attempts at hitting on his recently dumped ex-girlfriend Alli, he decides he still has a flickering of romantic interest in her so he hopes on his motorcycle and heads down there to talk. He remembers to wear his helmet first before taking off on the trail to the beach. So far, Johnny has not accepted a beer and has worried about his safety by wearing a helmet when riding. Oooh, he is SO evil! His next stop is the beach to try to have a conversation with Alli. I say “try” because as he is attempting a normal conversation with her she wants to be a bitch and not listen to him and then a little olive skinned, greasy, effeminate boy from out of town shows up and tries to intervene. That boy is none other than Daniel LaRusso. Daniel jumps into business that he has no part of and tries to steal a boombox out of Johnny’s hands. After being unsuccessful, Daniel then starts pushing and shoving before he ultimately takes a fighting stance. Johnny offers LaRusso a chance to stay out of it but Daniel has none of that so it looks like a fight will happen. Johnny is a black belt in karate and knows he can “light up” Daniel at the drop of a hat but when Daniel charges him he just dodges the blow and trips him instead of dealing him the beating he deserves for starting the fight. Well, Daniel cannot leave well enough alone when he charges Johnny a second time where Johnny could destroy Daniel again he just trips him a second time and tells him to quit. Well of course, Daniel can’t take a hint and charges Johnny and attempts to strike him when Johnny formally defends himself with a body blow to Daniel that doubles him over. Johnny once again tries to quit the fight and bends over to check on Daniel when he is sucker punched in the face. OK again, lets recap, Johnny has a fight started with him by Daniel, Johnny is clearly the better fighter but tries to stop the fight by tripping Daniel instead of punching or kicking, Johnny defends himself 3 times and then is sucker punched when trying to check up on Daniel. So far, Johnny is truly an evil boy. OK, back to the fight scene, Daniel has sucker punched Johnny after three unsuccessful attempts and now Johnny is mad. He dishes out the beating that Daniel deserved from the get go. He gave Daniel three chances to stop fighting before he kicked his oily ass all over the beach. And he only delivered the beating after he was sucker punched in the face when checking on him. Hmm, seems to me that Johnny did not start the fight at all and was willing to end it before Daniel was hurt. He seems like a pretty nice guy to me. He tried to avoid fighting Daniel because he knew that he could give a royal beating to the effeminate boy from New Jersey.

The reign of terror from Johnny Lawrence did not end at the beach. Seems our Daniel ran into him after school the next day when observing a karate class that Johnny was in because Daniel wanted to learn karate for revenge against him. After scurrying out like a mouse, Daniel had a surprise waiting for him. The karate boys, led by Johnny, caught up to Daniel riding home on his bike. They offered to teach him karate and told him that the first lesson was learning how to fall. At this point Daniel got scared of the motorcycles around him and drove off the side of the road and started down a grassy hill with about a 1-degree grade. This is where Daniel wrecked his bike and tried to blame Johnny and his friends for dishing up another beating. Lets tally the facts again, Daniel started a fight with Johnny in which Johnny waited until his last possible option was gone before kicking the crap out of Daniel, and Johnny and his pals offered karate lessons to Daniel in which his response was to run off the road and down a grassy hill where he wrecked his bike and blamed Johnny and his friends for beating him up even though he just wrecked his bike and face planted on the grass. Wow, Johnny keeps getting more villainous as the movie goes progresses.

The next time we have another meeting between the movie’s supposed villain Johnny and the hero Daniel is at a school dance. Johnny is in a bathroom stall minding his own business when Daniel finds him. Instead of avoiding a conflict Daniel dreams up the idea of taking the janitors wash hose and hooking it over the stall wall and over Johnny. As Daniel prepares to leave the bathroom he turns on the water to the hose thus soaking Johnny. Well, of course Johnny is p#ssed because he was soaked while sitting on the toilet and he and his friends chase Daniel down outside his apartment complex. Johnny at this point is just fed up with the constant harassment he has received at the hands of Daniel LaRusso so he snaps. Listen, here’s the story, everything was fine between them until Daniel played his little trick at the dance. Johnny and his friends did not bother or provoke Daniel at school. This was a blatant and malicious attack designed to humiliate Johnny in front of the whole school. So, as anyone should, he stands up to a bully. He offers up a delicious combination of punches and kicks before Daniel’s official babysitter, Mr. Miyagi, jumps in and beats up all the underage high school boys that he is at least 30 years older than. The tally: Johnny, no underage drinking, wears proper safety equipment, cares about school, tries to avoid a fight and then not to hurt a clearly inferior opponent, stands up to Daniel’s bullying and humiliating tricks until he and his friends get beat up by an older man who is far more advanced in karate than they could hope to be. I can finally start to see why the movie pinpointed Johnny as the villain. He is a real bastard!

Well, the bad behavior doesn’t end for Johnny. Oh no, not by a long shot. Mr. Miyagi and Daniel show up at Johnny’s karate dojo to challenge him to a fight at the local tournament. Johnny even agrees to not bother Daniel until then as well even though it has been Daniel who has been provoking Johnny all this time. So now we have Daniel challenging Johnny to a fight and making him agree to not bother him even though Daniel has been t he person instigating all the conflicts. Johnny, you evil bitch you! You must have been related to Hitler or maybe Satan.

Later on when Daniel is on a date with Johnny’s ex-girlfriend Alli at the arcade, Johnny and his boys roll up in their car and offer Alli and even Daniel a ride. You would think that they would heckle Daniel but they are sincere in their offer of a ride for him just as much they are in offering Alli a ride. Johnny is nice to Daniel and doesn’t bother him. At this point I wouldn’t have been surprised if Daniel keyed Johnny’s car, poured a soda over the interior, and then stole his hubcaps while having Mr. Miyagi beat up the kids again. Now who’s idea was it to make Daniel sympathetic in the movie?

The next confrontation between the two was at Alli’s and Johnny’s country club. This is the only part of the movie where Johnny acts like a jerk. Daniel is outside of the country club waiting for Alli but decides to sneak in because he is an impatient whore. He sneaks in through the kitchen, where he has no business being in the first place, and spies on Alli. He sees her and Johnny dancing and where he is trying to apologize to Alli for being a jerk. Alli doesn’t even seem to mind talking after awhile and this is where Johnny notices Daniel spying on him so he plants a big wet kiss on Alli. OK, he was mean here but this would have never happened if Daniel did not provoke the response by sneaking into a country club where he did not belong to and then started spying on his girlfriend. Alli paid Johnny back though by punching him in the face. That brings up an interesting point, everyone always provokes Johnny and all he gets is hit in the face for it. It isn’t like he goes around looking for fights. Hell, this joke wasn’t as bad as the one Daniel played on Johnny at the dance. The water on the bathroom floor could have caused Johnny or someone else to slip and suffer a serious injury. But no, the movie makes Johnny the villain!

The last confrontation is at the karate tournament. The Cobra Kai boys visit Daniel in the locker room. Dutch tries to provoke a fight but Johnny sits in the background and doesn’t want to be part of it. In the semi-finals Steve is ordered by his sensei to illegally hit Daniel to hurt him. Johnny looks at the sensei in shock because he wants to beat Daniel fair and square. Well, Daniel makes a miraculous recovery from his injury to face Johnny in the finals. The sensei orders Johnny to sweep Daniel’s hurt leg so he can win. Johnny initial hesitates and stares at his sensei in shock and disappointment because he wants to win fairly. Johnny does NOT want to do it but is ultimately forced to do it with a threat from his sensei. Shortly after this the movie ends with Daniel winning, Johnny personally takes the trophy to Daniel, shakes his hands, and congratulates him. Good lord, how big of a villain do they make Johnny in this movie? Let’s do a quick and final recap of the facts:

o Johnny does not drink underage
o He cares about school and wears proper protective equipment on his motorcycle
o He didn’t start the fight on the beach
o He non-violently defended himself giving Daniel a chance to walk away from the fight
o He only kicked Daniel’s ass after he was sucker punched
o Offered to give Daniel karate lessons but when Daniel wrecked his bike he was blamed for beating him up
o Johnny was soaked by Daniel’s prank at the dance
o Johnny stood up to the bullying of Daniel only to be beaten up by Mr. Miyagi
o He was challenged to a fight by Daniel and then had to agree not to mess with Daniel until the fight
o Offered Daniel and his girlfriend a ride home from the arcade
o Was upset that his sensei ordered illegal moves to be used on Daniel during the tournament because he wanted to beat him fairly
o Lastly, he personally presented the trophy to Daniel and congratulated him after his victory in the tournament

The conclusion from reviewing all the facts is easily made. Johnny Lawrence was not the son of a bitch prick that he was made out to be in the movie. He was the innocent hero of Daniel’s villainous victimizations. Daniel instigated every confrontation between the two outside of the tournament. Johnny only made one mistake by kissing Alli when Daniel was watching. That was the only bad thing he did the whole movie! And he is made out to be the villain! What kind of crazy ass logic is that? I was lucky enough of to view this the first time as a kid so I didn’t realize the shaft that Johnny is given. He is unfairly touted as the villain in “The Karate Kid” when the villain should have actually been the Karate Kid himself. Stupid ass 80’s movie logic! I am just glad I am now old enough to realize the true hero was Johnny Lawrence. Wouldn’t you agree after reviewing these facts?

The Karate Kid: Profiles in Human Sufferage

By Godfather Gavin "Screw You Mellon" Spencer

The Karate Kid profiles one arrogant, nosey, disrespectful, oily, effeminate, pre-teen hermaphrodite (Daniel Larusso) who along with his obnoxious and equally oily mother travels from the Atomic Garden State of New Jersey to Sunny California. New Jersey 1, California 0. Daniel befriends a local when he arrives, but quickly looses the friendship due to his disrespectful, violent, megalomaniacal behavior.
WOW! Did you see the oil stains on the light switch in their new place! Daniel can’t have operated the light switch by the front door to the apartment more than 2 or 3 times but it is literally drenched with 10W-30!

Daniel then goes to find the maintenance man to turn in the broken kitchen faucet. Here again we see Daniels true colors, as he meets Mr. Miagi for the first time. Daniel barges in uninvited on a preoccupied Mr. Miagi and then badgers him about how he should perform his job. Daniel shows no respect to his elders.

We next see Daniel on the beach playing soccer with himself. Here Daniel begins making creepy, awkward advances at the female star of the film Allie Mills. Also in this scene the epic hero of the film Johnny Lawrence (Sir William “Billy” Zabka) enters the picture. If you made it this far into the picture without hating Daniel, this scene should change your mind. Zabka shows up with some of his friends (note that he unlike Daniel, actually has friends) on dirt bikes. It is worth noting that Johnny is wearing a helmet, he turns down under-aged drinking and talks about how he is going to study hard his senior year and get good grades. After his speech about how education is important Johnny sees his ex-girlfriend (and family friend) Allie. He decides to be courteous and ride down and say hello. While Johnny is having a very respectful lovers spat with Allie, Daniel butts in and interrupts both of them and interjects his unsolicited opinion, in his arrogant know-it-all fashion. Johnny politely tells Daniel that he is having a private conversation and that he would appreciate some privacy. Daniel ignores the polite request and keeps interrupting. Johnny who is getting annoyed at this point (as any normal person would) drops Allie’s radio on the ground. This sets Daniel off. He is such a loose cannon with a hair-pin temper that such a small incident just makes him explode with rage. Drunk on rage over his own impolite interruptions, Daniel charges Johnny. Does Johnny squash the oily, effeminate, rage-a-holic like he probably should? No, he is that nice and respectful of a guy. Instead Johnny just moves out of the way of Daniel and trips him. But this just enrages Daniels already out-of-control temper. So Daniel charges again. Johnny, again trying to avoid confrontation, moves out of Daniels way. Now Daniel is so drunk on rage that his olive skin is turning beet red, so he gets up and takes a swing at Johnny (who has done nothing wrong!). Johnny blocks. Daniel tries again. Johnny realizing that Daniel intends to kill him and that he is mentally unstable and delusional finally defends himself. He hits Daniel in the stomach and Daniel drops like a fly and begins wailing like a baby. And what does Johnny do? He goes over to make sure Daniel is not hurt too bad and what does Daniel do? Does he apologize for his despicable behavior? No he sucker punches Johnny! So Johnny knocks him down again. Then Allie smarts off to Johnny and he respectfully decides to leave this bad situation before it gets worse (this respectful quality is not shared by Daniel who later in the film continually badgers Allie when she asks to be left alone). After Johnny respectfully honors Allie’s wishes and leaves she goes over to see if the whimpering grease-stain on the ground is OK. Daniel yells some profanities between sobs at Allie and her friends and asks to be left alone. Allie (also unlike Daniel) honors his request and leaves him to have a tantrum by himself.
This beach scene really shows you Daniels true colors and it also shows what a courteous, level-headed and respectful character Johnny is. This is the beginning of the end for Johnny. His whole world is about to be turned upside down by Daniel the oily drifter.

We next see Daniel (presumably the next morning) lying to his mother (does this kid have any positive attributes!?!) about the black eye he gave himself by slamming his head into the ground trying to destroy Johnny. He goes to school and then begins to cower and hide from Johnny who first of all did nothing but defend himself, and who second of all has literally forgotten about the whole thing.

We next see everyone on the soccer field where Allie comes over to see Daniel. Daniel starts bragging on himself and his soccer abilities and shows Allie how to hit a soccer ball with your knee, she politely pretends to be impressed by his rudimentary display of monkey-like coordination and monosyllabic dribble. Daniel then gets into a soccer game playing with all the male students in gym class including Johnny and his friends.
What a dork!!! It is southern California in the summer time and all of the other male students are shirtless and wearing shorts. Daniel on the other hand is wearing sweat pants, and two or three sweat shirts (long-sleeved!).
One of Johnny’s friends gives Daniel a legal slide tackle while trying to steal the ball from Daniel (who is showboating). And that is all it takes to set off the spoiled little brat. His hair-pinned temper explodes again and he shows that he is also a poor sport and poor loser. He rushes everybody on the whole field while foaming at the mouth with anger. Once again Johnny and his friends (who were nice enough to let Daniel play soccer with them) are rewarded for being nice by meeting the wrath of his explosive temper. And once again they try to avoid a fight. This time the gym teacher breaks it up but Daniel begins being beligerant with his teacher as well (he is disrespectful and beligerant to everyone!). So his teacher throws him out of class.
Also during this scene we see a very respectful Johnny being nice to both Allie and Daniel even though they don’t deserve his pleasantries, he rises above their petty behavior.

You would think Daniel would leave well enough alone, but he is as dumb and mean as he is greasy. We next see him again being disrespectful to his mother at lunch. After he has grown tired of abusing his mother he heads across the street to a karate Dojo to snoop around and find someone else to abuse. He wanders into the Cobra Kai dojo, and watches the students working together, following instructions, being respectful to their teacher and generally bettering themselves and this makes Daniel enraged again so he starts foaming at the mouth and gawking at Johnny and then when Johnny looks back Daniel runs out of the dojo. He then goes back to the restaurant to bully his mother some more. In the window you can see Johnny and his friends file out onto the street. Here we can see Johnny is obviously frustrated and at the end of his rope over Daniel tormenting him. Johnny is just trying to get good grades, talk to his girlfriend, play soccer and learn some karate and every time he tries to better himself Daniel butts into his life and ruins everything. Johnny’s friends manage to calm down his frustration.

We next see Daniel riding his bike, presumably he has egged Johhny’s house or killed his Dog or some other such atrocity. Well Johnny and his friends see Daniel and ride after him, and they graciously offer to teach him some of the lessons they have learned in their karate class but Daniel is so lazy he does not want to exercise or better himself. They insist and do teach Daniel how to take a fall, which is an important and fundamental lesson in all of the martial arts. They nudge Daniels bike across a tiny lush lawn hill. Well, in spite of his ability to knee a soccer ball, Daniel is horrifically uncoordinated and somehow manages to sputter to a stop and tip over.
What the hell!?! Somehow Daniel manages to cut his face to shreds by falling from a total height of 12 inches onto a thick grassy knoll. And he manages to mangle his entire bike, which must have been made out of tinfoil. Daniel’s extra oily skin must cause him to spew geysers of blood when he incurs any contact with any object or surface.
Daniel gets up from his tiny little wipeout and does what he does best: flies into a fit of rage/temper tantrum. He throws his aluminum foil bike into the dumpster and begins to scream and cry. Obviously starving for attention and pity he wakes up everyone in his apartment complex. Including the maintenance man (Mr. Miagi) and his mother. His mother comes out to quiet his tantrum down and he explodes. He cries and whines and tells her he hates everything. He is again rude to his mother.

Shortly after Daniel’s outbreak, he discovers that Mr. Miagi has fixed his bike (probably to stop his incessant whining and crying and waking up everyone). Does Daniel thank Miagi? No. Actually he storms into his office and begins being beligerant to him. Miagi has to shut him up by letting him defile one of his expensive bonsai trees. Shortly after Daniel also demands that Miagi teach him karate.
Where does this kid get off?!! He never shows respect to anyone and expects to get everything he wants. If he does not get what he wants (karate lessons, a better bike, friends etc…) he throws a tantrum and starts a fight with whoever is in his path.

The next scene showcases more of the unbelievable prick that Larusso is, and shows the real victim of this film: Johnny. Daniel after demanding Miagi make his costume (and probably crying about it) goes to the school dance. Does he go to have fun or actually be nice to somebody and actually make a friend or two? Does he go to meet up with Allie? No and No. Daniel is not interested in being nice to people or making friends he went to the dance for one reason and one reason only: to torment Johnny. He actually turns a hose on Johnny while he is in the bathroom stall! At his most vulnerable, Daniel exploits Johnny. Johnny is naturally pissed and humiliated and chases Daniel down. Johnny and his friends chase Daniel to express their displeasure with his insolent, rude and disruptive violence. Remember Johnny is trying to concentrate on school, but he can’t because Daniel is constantly harassing him. Well never one to take responsibility for his own actions, Daniel hides behind Miagi. God forbid that Daniel should actually have to face the victims of his mean spirited pranks. No the spoiled, olive skinned grease-ball likes to dish it out but will have nothing to do with taking it back.
Isn’t that illegal!?! Mr. Miagi who is presumably in his 50-60’s beats up Johnny and all his adolescent friends. These kids are under 18! Why isn’t Miagi tried for assaulting a minor!?! Who is the bad guy here? If you saw a 50 year old man beat up some 15 year old kids, would you think the old man was doing something good?!? Hell no, you would call the cops.

Well the child abuser (Miagi) and Daniel both decide to go bug Johnny and his friends some more!!! Can you believe this!?! Isn’t it bad enough that Migai ileegally beat up children? Now he want to go push them around some more!?! So Miagi and Daniel go to the Cobra-Kai dojo to threaten some more kids. Well Miagi’s reign of terrorizing children abruptly comes to a hault when he is confronted by the sensei of the dojo. Oh too bad Miagi and Daniel can’t bully unprotected children, not when an adult is around. Miagi and Daniel are too afraid to shoot their mouths off when in the presence of an adult so they challenge Johnny to a contest at the All Valley Karate Tournament.
Poor Johnny! What must poor Johnny be thinking? Here he is trying to be a good student, trying to have a civil relationship with his ex, trying to hangout with his friends, trying to learn some karate, even trying to go to the bathroom, and no matter what he does he can’t get away from this Daniel prick. Now he has to fight him in a tournament! Why? Was it Johnny’s idea to fight Daniel in the tournament? No it was Daniel’s just like every other sadistic, violent and oily idea from this film. Johnny is really an epic hero. He faces all this adversity and still finds the strength to go on! He is inspiring! He makes us all a little better just witnessing his strength.

We next see Miagi trying to teach the olive-skinned, toothpick-armed, spoiled brat Daniel some karate to prepare him for the tournament. And typical ingrate that he is, Daniel has a series of tantrums too numerous and too embarrassing to mention. Again we see the stuff of which Daniel is made: laziness, violent-tempered, disrespectful, hedonism. Crying when he does not get his way.

There is a heartwarming scene in here where Miagi gets drunk and laments his dead wife and while he is crying Daniel is rummaging through his personal and sacred belongings. Daniel is just unbelievable…

Somewhere in here we are also forced to witness, as a friend said, “the most shameful date in cinema history.” And that is exactly what it is. The date involves some of Daniel’s better qualities: he insults his mother (again) he mouths off to Allie’s parents, he paws all over Allie without invitation in a public photo booth (leaving oily grease stains all over her clothes). And! (this is the clincher) he is rude to Johnny his date and his friends who are trying to be nice to Daniel by offering to take them out for the night! Jeez! Maybe Johnny was actually trying to help Daniel make a friend or two, and all Daniel can do is be rude and disrespectful. Daniel is such a jerk. And Johnny is so forgiving! He never holds a grudge through all of this crap Johnny still want to be nice and friendly! But, not Daniel, he is full of hate and spite.

The last scene of the film is the tournament. In this scene we see that Miagi and Daniel have no quams stealing other people’s property as they take a black belt that somebody earned the hard way. Not everybody can just take whatever they want like Daniel and Miagi. Some people have to work hard for the things that they value. These two and ubelieveable. The tournament shows more of Daniel crying. Daniel eventually wins and Johnny congratulates him and they cut the scene at that moment and the film is over. I imagine if the film had rolled 5 seconds longer we would have seen Johnny congratulating Daniel, then Daniel would have sucker punched him, then the credits would start rolling. Must have been edited-out to cut down on time.

Two things really stick out after watching this film.
Daniel is the biggest prick in cinema history. The facts speak for themselves on this one.

And,

Johnny is the bravest epic hero in contemporary cinema. I mean here is a guy who has suffered more than MacBeth! He has been stripped of everything sacred in his life, his girl, his trophy tournament, his dignity… I imagine that Daniel and Miagi were probably working on murdering his family too. Is there a more tortured soul that the character of Johnny? I can think of none. His is the modern life story of Job. Johnny suffers biblically at the hands of Daniel.

The main lesson of the film is that Johnny is strong and heroic and made stronger through his personal sufferage and strong character. Conversely we see that Daniel is vain, spiteful, and weak. For any fool can dish out toil, but only a true hero can rise above it like Johnny does!

 

 

 

 

 

 



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